It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win