I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
