he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
