she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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