Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
