i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
