What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
