ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
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let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
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How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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