you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize