Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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