I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize