when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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