am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
