I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
