I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
There's always time for handjobs
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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