It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
