My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
