my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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