Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
