My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
