Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
