yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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