is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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