Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My bed smells like the plague
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
