it wasn't lemon gatorade
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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