So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
