new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.