Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
did i walk over a car last night?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
