Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
