His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
