I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
