Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
