I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm sobbing to NWA
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
