I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
