i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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