Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
