I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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