It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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