let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
