This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize