yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
