I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
