Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
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as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
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Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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