I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize