Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
