I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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