I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
This baby is an asshole
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Blow job season was short but glorious.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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