Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
