If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Randomize
