just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
