I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
