we have officially lost it.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Randomize
