Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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