carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
