i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
