Dignity is for republicans.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
