I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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