Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
