I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's rum buckets o'clock
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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