ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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