Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
