Betty ford says i'm here all night
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Boobs are out for the taking
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
