As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
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Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
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No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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