: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
