I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize