I feel like I'm in dance class right now
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
