i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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