If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
this just has baby written all over it
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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