Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
this will be a night to untag.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Randomize
