It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
